Some superb entertainment was provided all right by Michael, a Scottish lad who's in the hostel. This fella's completely different to the Yank asshole, this lad was just a bit not all there. Some of his best quotes;
Seeing BOL 0 LIV 0 in the top corner of the screen, he said completely earnestly: "so it's Bolivia v Liverpool is it?"
"Best thing the IRA did was to blow up that place in finance district in London (Canary Wharf). It was all the English money, the IRA killed no one but they got away without paying the tax you see. The British government couldn't touch them you see. Cleverest thing they ever did"
"Ireland has 4 different currencies"
"Irish people are very clever, they can speak languages. And they can do sudokus in ten minutes"
I particularly enjoyed when he was giving advice to the French lads in his very strong Scottish accent. They understood not a single word. Gave them advice on when to shave (always after a shower, never before) temperature of water (cold is fine) and what to use (lather with soap, shaving cream takes up too much room in your backpack when you're travelling), none of which they understood!
It was all highly amusing random gold but I felt bad for the lad. But then again, I suppose he's happy out in his own way. But it always fascinates me when you meet lads like this in hostels sometimes and you wonder just how on earth they can afford to be so far from home and perennially travelling.
Went and got some disgusting pizza for breakfast/lunch and with literally nothing to do, I said I'd treat myself to a shave. Popped into the kitchen to boil some water as only cold water in the taps. Michael was there.
John: Hey, is there a kettle here do you know?
Michael: What are you boiling water for?
John: <to myself> oh Kryste here we go... <out loud> ah... I'm going to have a shave man.
Michael: You don't need hot water.
John: Yeah but I prefer it really.
Michael: But you don't need it.
John: I just prefer it.
Michael: But you don't need it.
<stalemate - luckily he moved on!>
Michael: Did you have a shower yet?
John: I did
Michael: Ok, that's ok. <pause>... have you got soap, that's what I use... look <sticks face v near mine>
John: I have these shaving drops I use, they honestly take up v little room in my backpack.
Michael: That's ok.
<exit John>
Having received his blessing, I had my shave eventually, then hung around the hostel watching tv. Updated this blog for a while, more comedy gold as Michael bashed his keyboard beside me trying to log on and failing miserably.
One thing that really frustrates me over here is how people spell my name. The Spanish version of John is Juan. Well that's fine. But bizarrely a lot of people in South America have the English version of the name as their official title. But they misspell it Jhon. So when people ask me my name, I spell it out in Spanish J-O-H-N. And they write down J-H-O-N. AAAAAGH! Drives me mad. I haven't much to be worrying me I suppose.
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| No you idiot, it's J-O-H-N-N-Y! Nightmare |
The dogs in Cali are very excitable:
Later on I ended up having the guts of a bottle of red wine (a lovely Casillero del Diablo in fact!) Had a bizarre exchange in the off licence, I asked how much the bottle was - 28,000p including taxes. Which is about €15. That's a lot of bloody money over here. I chanced my arm and asked if he had one where I didn't have to pay taxes. Sure, that's only 18,000p! Very strange but I wasn't complaining!
I am definitely doing my 9 hour journey to Medellin tomorrow. Want to get the 9am bus so I'm there tomorrow night.
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